Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls©.
Caution: Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls may contain a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© on concrete.
Discontinue use of Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© if any of the following occurs:
If Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© begin to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© should be returned to their special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls©, Charles M. LaBow, and their parent company, The Southeast and Northern Company, Incorporated, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© include an unknown, glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© have been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and are also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls©.
Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© come with a lifetime guarantee. When they fail, break, wear out or disintegrate, their lifetime and the warranty are over.
In all seriousness...I am really fed up with all the litigation in product liability cases resulting in the endless supply of stupid warning labels such as "WARNING-Do not use this hair dryer in a shower or bathtub!" If you are that stupid, maybe you need some chlorine in your gene pool!
We're talking about a simple product here, made out of four tennis balls. They have NOT been tested by any, consumer product testing laboratory. They are NOT FAA/PMA approved, STC'd, form "337-able", or anything else. They are only there to call attention to the pointy parts of your wing tip tanks. I would be willing to bet that if you run your head into a Chuck's FUZZY BALL hard enough, you could drive the damned ball right through your skull! But please, if you are really that stupid, PLEASE DO NOT BUY A SET! I do not want the executor of your estate calling me to tell me your dead ass is now going to sue me because you cracked your bean on your tip tank and it was "supposed to be protected by Chuck's FUZZY BALLS©. (In fact, if you are that stupid, maybe you shouldn't consider flying a twin Cessna in the first place.)
If you think it's a item you could use, call, write, whatever. I make them to order and I'll try to please you.
Chuck LaBow
No part of Chuck’s Fuzzy Balls© may be reproduced or re-transmitted without the express, written permission of Major League Baseball.
Your mileage may vary!
Lets go BACK to the Chuck's Fuzzy Balls page!
This page created 10 July 2001
This page updated 26 August 2003