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Welcome to the ASK CHUCK page!

So little many people to annoy!

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

"Life is a sexually transmitted fatal disease." Quotes

You Broke the Damn Counter!

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Website oxymoron - UNDER CONSTRUCTION - Does anyone ever have a page they are completely satisfied with? Even if this page wasn't under construction, Chuck would leave this sign. (He likes the little, animated, excavators.)

Once upon a time, Chuck worked in a environment with a large number of people who would ask him questions about all sorts of various, different things. Since he previously worked in many, odd jobs, (Goodyear blimp pilot, construction worker, merchant captain, airline sheet metal mechanic, grave digger (college job), etc.), he developed a reputation for finding answers to people's questions without the annoying "problem" of lying if he did not know the correct answer. This eventually led total strangers to call Chuck with odd questions he would try to answer (to settle bar bets, arguments with spouses, and on and on). Chuck even had an "0-700" number people could reach him at to answer questions, and that's what has caused this page to come into existence.

Because Chuck is a "with-it" kind-o-guy, he's gone on the "web". Mostly to highlight his existing businesses, but also for the old "ASK CHUCK" stuff. However, Chuck is NOT politically correct. If this is a problem for you go away, Chuck doesn't like to bother with dweebs! If you try to flame Chuck (or otherwise anger him), he will hunt you down, rip out your modem, and shove it down your windpipe!

Chuck has several links to his businesses, (the actual purpose of this site) and, some neat (ocassionally offensive) stuff. He's not as egotistical as this narrative makes him out to be, he certainly doesn't even come close to knowing most everything, but he won't lie to you and he doesn't mind answering e-mail.


Email Address:
Click here to ask Chuck a question.
Be Brave, be Patient!

"A pessimist is someone who smells flowers and looks for the coffin."

Protection from the Holier Than Thou

Seeking your guidance, I offer this prayer to you for help in my encounters with those who presume themeselves better than others. Shield me from their judgemental pronouncements on my values, political leanings, and/or body art. and with the strength of your mighty hand, strike from my consciousness their prediction as to where I'll be spending eternity. Amen!

Let's Go to Chuck's Other Interests and Businesses

Chuck's NEW Fuzzy Balls© page!

Picture of Chuck's Fuzzy Balls with page title information

Chuck has created a new product for use on Cessna Aircraft, 300 and 400 series twin engine aircraft. Chuck's FUZZY BALLS are protective covers for the wing tip tank leading and trailing edges (which, should you walk into one, will take your scalp and peel it back like the skin on a Navel orange.)

Let's go play with Chuck's FUZZY BALLS!

Chuck is a independent dealer of Amsoil® products.

Amsoil is the largest and finest, independent manufacturer of synthetic lubricants in the world. They offer a complete range of products for automotive, marine, transportation, agricultural, and stationery engine applications. Amsoil products are distributed and sold throughout the world. If you value your equipment and it's engine, protect it with Amsoil!

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Chuck's Amsoil Dealer Page

Chuck is the largest dealer of ELCO boats and marine propulsion systems in Miami, Florida (U.S.A.).

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Go to Chuck's ELCO Dealership

Chuck is a certified "Master of Safety Drills" per 46 CFR 28.270(c) meeting United States Coast Guard standards for the endorsement as conductor of safety drills aboard Commercial Fishing Industry Vessels.

Any person engaged in the catching and sale of ANY marine life is required to conduct monthly safety drills in order to meet the requirements of part 46 CFR 28.270 (Code of Federal Regulations). The Southeast and Northern Company can help you meet this important Coast Guard safety requirement.

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The Southeast and Northern Company, Inc. - MARINE DIVISION

Did you ever notice...When religion ruled the world; they called it "The Dark Ages"?

Or...Have you ever noticed how George W. Bush scowls at the press the way Richard Nixon used to? And, why don't we see Neil Bush, you know the Lincoln Savings and Loan executive, out supporting his brother?

Chuck's Pissed Off animation.

What's Chuck Pissed-Off About NOW?

Nothing gets Chuck going faster than "The Politically Correct." In this section, we'll see what's got him fired up recently.

April, 2005

Read an excellent article by author, Michael Crichton about the myths of Global Warming.

Labor Day, 2003...A friend emailed this to me and I thought it was worth passing on to anyone interested: The following is a letter, supposedly from Fred Reed, and suppoesedly published somewhere before I got it. If you don't know of Fred Reed, the following is a clip from his bio at Fred Reed's website."

Fred, a keyboard mercenary with a disorganized past, has worked on staff for Army Times, The Washingtonian, Soldier of Fortune, Federal Computer Week, and The Washington Times. He has been published in Playboy, Soldier of Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Harper's, National Review, Signal, Air&Space, and suchlike. He has worked as a police writer, technology editor, military specialist, and authority on mercenary soldiers. He is by all accounts as looney as a tune.

The following is an essay regarding the failings of a system and a culture. Please note that he elegantly describes the mood of many white Americans and does so without prejudice.

Slavery Reparations Fred Reed

On the Web I find that Henry Louis Gates Jr., the chairman of Afro-American Studies at Harvard, is demanding that whites pay reparations to blacks. It's because of slavery, see. He is joined in this endeavor by a gaggle of other professional blacks. I guess he'll send me a bill, huh? I feel like saying, Let me get this straight, Hank. I'm slow. Be patient. You want free money because of slavery, right? I don't blame you. I'd like free money too. Tell you what. I believe in justice. I'll give you a million dollars for every slave I own, and another million for every year you were a slave. Fair enough?

But tell me, how many slaves do you suppose I have? In round numbers, I mean. Say to the nearest dozen. And how long were you a slave? Oh. In other words, I owe you reparations for something that I didn't do and didn't happen to you. That makes sense. Like lug nuts on a birthday cake.

Personally, I think you owe me reparations for things you didn't do and never happened to me. I've never been coated in Dutch chocolate and thrown from the Eiffel Tower. I'll bet you've never done it to anyone. I want reparations. Kinda silly, isn't it?

But if we're going to talk about reparations, that's a street that runs in two directions. You want money from me for what some other whites did to some other blacks in another century. How about you guys paying whites reparations for current expenses caused by blacks? Not long ago blacks burned down half of Los Angeles, a city in my country. Cities are expensive, Hank. Build one sometime and you'll see what I mean. Whites had to pay taxes to repair Los Angeles for you. You can send me a check.

Now, yes, I know you burned LA because you didn't like the verdict in the trial of those police officers. Well, I didn't like the verdict in the Simpson trial. But I didn't burn my house and loot Korean grocers.

Over the years blacks have burned a lot of American cities: Newark, Detroit, Watts, on and on. Now add in the fantastic cost over the years of welfare in all its forms, of large police forces and jails and security systems in department stores. I can't live in the capital city of my own country because of crime committed by blacks. Toss in the cultural cost of lowering standards in everything for the benefit of blacks. See what I mean?

Now, I'd view things differently if you said, "Fred, blacks can't get anywhere in a modern country without education. We know that. We need better schools, smarter teachers, harder courses, books with smaller pictures and bigger words. Can you help us?" I'd say, "Hallelujah! Hoo-ahh! Not just yes, but hell yes. I'd say it partly because it would be the right thing to do, and partly, because I'd like to add you guys to the tax base. The current custodial state is expensive. I'd just love for blacks to study and learn to compete and stop burning places.

But is it going to happen?

You may not believe it, but I, and most whites, don't like seeing blacks as miserable and screwed up as they are. I spend a fair amount of time in the projects. Those places are ugly. It's no fun watching perfectly good kids turn into semiliterate dope dealers who barely speak English. It just plain ain't right. But, Hank, what am I supposed to do about it? I can't do your children's homework. At some point, people have to do things for themselves, or they don't get done. Maybe it's time.

I'll tell you what I see out in the world, Hank. I think blacks are too accustomed to getting anything they want by just demanding it. True, it has worked for over half a century. Get a few hundred people in the street, implicitly threaten to loot and burn, holler about slavery, and the Great White Cash Spigot turns on.

Thing is, whites don't much buy it any longer. Most recognize that what once was a civil-rights movement has become a shakedown game. Few people still feel responsible for the failings and inadequacies of blacks. Political correctness keeps the lid on -- but everyone knows the score. Which scares me, Hank. On one hand, blacks hate whites and incline toward looting and burning. (The whites you hate are the ones who marched in the civil-rights movement. Ever think about that?) On the other hand, whites quietly grow wearier and wearier of it. Not good.

On the third hand (allow me three hands, for rhetorical convenience), blacks keep demanding things. As I write, you demand reparations for slavery. Blacks in Oklahoma (I think it was) want money for some ancient race riot. Other blacks reject the Declaration of Independence, blacks in New York hint broadly at burning and looting over a trial, yet more demand the elimination of the Confederate flag, and the federal equal opportunity apparatus, which means blacks, wants to sue Silicon Valley for not hiring non-existent black engineers.

That's a lot of demanding for one month, Hank. What happens if whites ever say, "No"?

Now, how about you? You've got a cushy job up there at Harvard, and you can hoot and holler about what swine and bandits whites are. I guess it's lots of fun, and you get a salary for it. But don't you think you might do blacks more good if you told them to complain less and study more?

For example, if you want blacks to work in Silicon Gulch, the best approach might be to find some really smart black guys, and get them to study digital design, not Black Studies.

That's how everybody else does it. It works. Then blacks wouldn't feel left out, and racial tension would decline. Sound like a plan? Just out of curiosity, how many hours a week do professors of Afro-American Studies spend in the projects, encouraging poor black kids to study real life subjects?.

Fred Reed

Thanks to my nephew, Elron, for this one....

March 31, 2000

Do Unnatural Acts Cause Natural Disasters?

Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Coalition, recently warned Orlando, Florida, that it was courting natural disaster by allowing gay pride flags to be flown along its streets. "A condition like this will bring about ... earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor," he said, apparently referring to his belief that the presence of openly gay people incurs divine wrath and that God acts through geological and meteorological events to destroy municipalities that permit gay people the same civil liberties as others. (Robertson also warned Orlando about terrorist bombs, suggesting the possibility that God may also employ terrorists.) Before Pat and his Christian cronies get too carried away promulgating the idea that natural disasters are prompted by people who displease God, they should take a hard look at the data. Take tornadoes. Every state (except Alaska) has them--some only one or two a year, dozens in others. Gay people are in every state (even Alaska). According to Pat's hypothesis, there should be more gay people in states that have more tornadoes. But are there? Nope. In fact, there's no correlation at all between the number of gay folks (as estimated by the number of gay political organizations, support groups, bookstores, radio programs, and circuit parties) and the annual tornado count (r = .04, p = .78 for you statisticians). So much for the "God hates gays" theory.
God seems almost neutral on the subject of sexual orientation. I say "almost" because if we look at the density of gay groups relative to the population as a whole, there is a small but statistically significant (p = <.05) correlation with the occurrence of tornadoes. And it's a negative correlation (r = -.28). For those of you who haven't used statistics since 1973, that means that a high concentration of gay organizations actually protects against tornadoes. A state with the population of, say, Alabama could avert two tornadoes a year merely by doubling the number of gay organizations in the state. (Tough choice for Alabama's civil defense strategists.) Although God may not care about sexual orientation, the same cannot be said for religious affiliation. If the underlying tenet of Pat's postulate is true--that God wipes out offensive folks via natural disasters--then perhaps we can find some evidence of who's on God's hit list. Jews are off the hook here: there's no correlation between numbers of Jews and frequency of tornadoes. Ditto for Catholics. But when it comes to Protestants, there's a highly significant correlation of .71. This means that fully half the state-to-state variation in tornado frequency can be accounted for by the presence of Protestants. And the chance that this association is merely coincidental is only one in 10,000. Protestants, of course, come in many flavors-we were able to find statistics for Lutherans, Methodists, Baptists, and Other. Lutherans don't seem to be a problem--no correlation with tornadoes. There's a modest correlation (r = .52, p = .0001) between Methodists and tornadoes. But Baptists and Others share the prize: both groups show a definite correlation with tornado frequency (r = .68, p = .0001). This means that Texas could cut its average of 139 tornadoes per year in half by sending a few hundred thousand Baptists elsewhere (Alaska maybe?).
What, you are probably asking yourself, about gay Protestants? An examination of the numbers of gay religious groups (mostly Protestant) reveals no significant relationship with tornadoes. Perhaps even Protestants are less repugnant to God if they're gay. And that brings up another point--the futility of trying to save the world by getting gay people to accept Jesus. It looks from our numbers like the frequency of natural disasters could be more effectively reduced by encouraging Protestants to be gay.
Gay people have been falsely blamed for disasters ever since Sodom was destroyed by fire and brimstone (we have been unable to find any statistics on disasters involving brimstone). According to a reliable source, the destruction of Sodom was indeed an act of God (see Genesis 19:13) and was perpetrated because the citizens thereof were, according to the same source (see Ezekiel 16:49-50), "arrogant, overfed and unconcerned [and] did not help the poor and needy"--not because they were gay. Now Pat would have us believe that gays are the cause of tornadoes (as well as earthquakes, meteors, and even terrorist bombs) in utter disregard for evidence showing that Baptists are much more likely to cause them. I say "Kudos!" to Orlando. Despite Robertson's warning that Orlando is "right in the way of some serious hurricanes" (hardly a revelation), note that it was not struck by the very destructive Hurricane Andrew a few years ago. And amid the recent conflagrations (that's fires) in central Florida, which occurred just after Pat sounded his alarm, Orlando was spared. Keep those flags waving!
As any statistician will tell you, of course, correlation doesn't prove causation. Protestants causing tornadoes by angering God isn't the only explanation for these data. It could be that Baptists and Other Protestants purposely flock to states that have lots of tornadoes (no, we haven't checked for a correlation between IQ and religious affiliation). But if Pat and his Christian crew insist that natural disasters are brought on by people who offend God, let the data show who those people are. ------

Janis Walworth July 16, 1998 Sources: Tornado Occurrence by State, 1962-1991; 1990 Churches and Church Membership; Population by State, 1990 US Census; Gay & Lesbian Political Organizations, Support Groups, and Religious Groups from Gayellow Pages,National Edition, 1987.

Permission is given to all to reprint this article in its entirety on a not-for-profit basis.

If you would like to learn a bit more about Pat Robertson and his distorted views, get the book, "The Most Dangerous Man in America?: Pat Robertson and the Rise of the Christian Coalition"

Chuck is not really "pissed-off" about the following two, he actually aggrees with them! The first was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, Georgia and the second by Ted Nugent, musician and hunter.

The Bill of "NO RIGHTS"

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and other liberal, bed-wetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a "Bill of No Rights".


You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.


You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.


You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.


You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of sub-sidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.


You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in health care.


You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.


You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.


You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.


You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and educational training laid before you to make yourself useful.


You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

September 25, 2001


This letter was suppossedly written by Ted Nugent, who has NOT CLAIMED that he did write it, comedian George Carlin, who has stated the "he did NOT write it" and others, such as comedian Dennis Leahry and several others. It has been on the internet for at least the past two years. No matter who wrote it, it's still a great piece, and since Chuck likes "rock and roll" music, we'll give Ted Nugent the credit!

Written by Ted Nugent, the rock singer and hunter/naturalists, upon hearing that California Senators Barbara Boxer & Diane Feinstein denounced him for being a "gun owner" and a "Rock Star".

This was his response after telling the senators about his past contributions to children's charities and scholarship foundations which have totaled more that $13.7 million in the last 5 years!

"I'm a Bad American-this pretty much sums it up for me. I like big trucks, big boats, big houses, and naturally, pretty women.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I don't care about appearing compassionate.

I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer. I believe ignoring your kids and giving them Prozac might.

I think I'm doing better than the homeless.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or make me mad. This is my life to live, and not necessarily up to others expectations. I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it.

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine; I just don't feel like everyone else should have to.

I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy Queen shake, a pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English. As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English. My uncles and forefathers shouldn't have had to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours, and make us bend to your will. Get over it.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if you're running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the previous line. I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation do a recount when needed. I know what the definition of lying is, and it isn't based on the word "is"-ever.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can open a hotel, 7-Eleven, trinket shop, or any thing else, while the indigenous peoples can't get past a high school education because they can't afford it.

I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet. I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.

I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light. But I respect your right to.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.

Our soldiers did not go to some foreign country and risk their lives in vain and defend our Constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a living document ever changing and is open to interpretation. The guys who wrote it were light years ahead of anyone today, and they meant what they said - now leave the document alone, or there's going to be trouble.

I don't hate the rich. I help the poor. I know wrestling is fake.

I've never owned, or was a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers weren't wealthy enough to own one either. Please stop blaming me because some prior white people were idiots - and remember, tons of white, Indian, Chinese, and other races have been enslaved too - it was wrong for every one of them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal Democrat with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I want to know exactly which church is it where the "Reverend" Jessie Jackson preaches; and, what exactly is his job function. I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime, then you will serve the time.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it makes you mad, then invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.

I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it makes me mad. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being that I do as a white male. If someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime. We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have.

I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks. I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child-it takes a parent with the guts to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say "NO!" when it's necessary to do so. I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller. I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.

I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed me that right. I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings. I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

Yes, I guess by some people's definition, I may be a bad American. But that's tough."

Ted Nugent

Those of you who are either lucky enough or misfortunate enough (it's a matter of perspective) to actually know Chuck, realize that these are rather "moderate" views in Chuck's opinion. Why just on the slavery issue alone, Chuck gets real tired about hearing how those "awful, mean, white guys" brought all the slaves to the Western Hemisphere, 200-300 years ago. No "white guy" would dare to go into the unexplored jungles of Africa in the 1500, 1600 and 1700's, they just landed on the beach, worked out a deal with the "bigger black guys" to into the jungle for them and bring out "the smaller, weaker black guys" for a price. What, you don't believe that, I guess you haven't been paying much attention to the recent incidents involving ship loads of slaves (mostly African children) running from authorities in North Africa and Europe in early 2001!.

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What Has Chuck Been Pissed-Off About In the Past?

Visit Chuck's "old" church. (Worthwhile persons ONLY, the UNSAVED are not welcome here!)

Landover Baptist Church banner.

Now, if you find that you're not good enough to be a member of the Landover Baptist Church (and, very few of you will be), you can worship with Reverend Chuck, now that CHUCK HAS BECOME A FULLY ORDAINED MINISTER of the Universal Life Church! Yes, yes, I know it's hard to believe, but Chuck has finally found a current demonination he can believe in. (Chuck has found that he REALLY believes in denominations of $100 and up!)

Now in order to provide Reverend Chuck with a proper place to conduct services, he needs a "proper house of worship" and is depending on "his flock" to provide him with it. After years of searching, Reverend Chuck has found the ideal church building. Click here to see Reverend Chuck's "dream church." Now, here's the problem. Reverend Chuck is a little "short of funds" these days, what with maintaining the "Holy Spirit 421B" and the collection for the "Absoulutely Divine CJ2" jet. "(It will help Reverend Chuck get closer to god!) Therefore, he is really depending on you, his flock, to pay for the new church building. It's a reasonable $35,000.00 (plus shipping from Great Britain). Hey, that's not bad at all. Reverend Oral Roberts got $7 million from one of his flock just because god threatened to "call Oral to heaven."

Reverend Chuck can make giving easy. Since I can't come and personally "pass the collection plate" to you, you can just scroll up to the top of this page and click on the "Support this page" link. That way the "love gifts" will flow directly from your wallet to Reverend Chuck's "building fund." As a special bonus, if you give a huge contribution, Reverend Chuck will bring the new church to you for a wedding, funeral, or whatever spiritual needs you may have. I'll even consecrate it in you name!

So, what are you waiting for. Get out the plastic and give generously. Reverend Chuck is depending on you!

This is a REALLY great service. Chuck uses it and recomends you try it. (He just may be saying "Goodbye" to Mr. Pitney and Mr. Bowes, real soon!)

Click here to go to the page. Things you'd rather do (468x60)

If you really want to get pissed off about just how bad the U. S. educational system is, buy a copy of this book, by Diane Ravitch. You be ready to kill EVERY LEFT WING and RIGHT WING jerk you bump into! More than 500 new "Politically Incorrect" thoughts and words!

cover The Language Police: How Pressure Groups Restrict What Students Learn

For all your "regular" needs (it's not just books and audio anymore,) click the link below.

ASKCHUCK in Association with

...Bean's in your ears? Chuck's "Audio Follies"!

Redball button

Click the ball to hear the strangest rendition of New York, New York, written by John Kander and Fred Ebb, and played by

Wendy Mae Chambers

on the Car Horn Organ!

Copyright© 1996 by Ellipsis Arts..., Roslyn, New York 11576, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

This is a BIG file (3.6 Meg) but it's pretty neat! (Take a nap while it downloads.)

Even though Chuck sells electric launches, his first boating love is sailing. Chuck learned how to sail as a kid, before he became a big, obnoxious, adult. If you would like to learn more about the fun of sailing, click this link!

Chuck had been getting blasted with over 1,000 spam emails per day. This was interrupting his 14 hour per day sleep schedule. Click here to try the program Chuck has used to solve the problem. They even have a FREE! version

Why not get your own, personal URL. Have your "own indentity" on the internet. Click below for details. It's quick, easy, and not that expensive!

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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. Also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.


The fight for online speech wins in the Supreme Court.
Follow the link to read about our victories and the road ahead of us.

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Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign!

The MIDI currently playing in the background is "The Baltimore Todolo" by Eubie Blake, arrangement by Scott Kirby and sequenced by John Roache (used WITHOUT his permission). If you want more ragtime and other syncopated tunes visit John Roache's Ragtime Page

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This page created 17 March, 1997

Last updated 13 JANUARY 2009

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